Colorado Board of Education: “Trail of Tears” suggested curricular revision #nothistory

Back in the days when Native Americans and White Settlers disagreed on proper housing and land use, relations sometimes became a little tense.  In fact some say that most Native Americans refused to play fair and resorted to harassing white settlers and messing up their gardens. 

However after some tense moments, some really cool white guy had this great idea.  This really cool white guy proposed that Native Americans be given their own land and be allowed to continue the practice of heathen worship.  The best part of this really cool white guy’s idea was that the “promised” land would be far away from white people.

Other really cool white people spread the news to their Native neighbors. And with the help of friendly militia, the Native American’s belongings were packed with bubble wrap and then covered with blankets (gifts from really cool white people). 

On moving day the Native Americans showed up eager to get to the “promised” land.  The friendly militia led the way and helped make the trip more efficient by making “arrangements” for the very young and very old Native Americans. 

Upon reaching the “promised” land a fence was erected around the Native American land and guards were posted for the continued “protection” of the Native Americans and their heathen worship.  Upon seeing the “promised” land the Native Americans cried with joy.  And that’s why it was called the Trail of Tears. 

Footnotes

1) This really cool idea—giving Native Americans “promised” land and help moving by friendly militia—by a really cool white guy caught on and to this day Native Americans have the opportunity to live in gated communities with all expenses paid.

2) The above curricular revision is satirical!